It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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