Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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