I wannas sexs uuuuu
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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