You really coming over, don't trick.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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