So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
