at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
