it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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