I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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