im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize