She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
