I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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