He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize