ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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