Already got asked if we're dating
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
