He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
