Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
