pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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