He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
