direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
