are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
