id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ok first of all what the fuck
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
