just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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