the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's never too late to be topless.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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