Even the bartender felt bad for me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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