Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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