Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
