"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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