Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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