I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
