i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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