I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
