it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
