Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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