Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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