I think I am morally bankrupt
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
