Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
