saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
