It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
