THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
