Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
