so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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