how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
