was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Text me some of your sweat
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
