Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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