you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
