What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
