piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
