ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
