You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
