Don't make out with my wife yet
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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