I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
