I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
a search helicopter?!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
