I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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