Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize