Can Purell be used as lube?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Congratulations! We have a period
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