she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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