I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
