he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
