holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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