So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
