community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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