im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
