Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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